That’s what I mean. We middle-aged fools and we old fools can no longer dream. The man or woman who did something for nothing always excited his suspicions; they were playing some kind of a game. At any rate he made it very clear that night that there was an ineradicable discord in life, a jarring something that must shatter all her dreams of a way of living for women that would enable them to be free and spacious and friendly with men, and that was the passionate predisposition of men to believe that the love of women can be earned and won and controlled and compelled. It begins with that queer piccolo solo. As far as I recollect, there were two. She closed her eyes and felt again an echo of the swamping warmth that had attacked her when his lips met hers. I worshipped her and subdued myself. People were not slaves to their gods as they are now, oppressed and unhappy, chained to their mortality and suffering so that they may one day enter an imaginary Heaven. The way—the way we are led on! We are taught to believe we are free in the world, to think we are queens. The door was too strong, and too well secured, to break open,—the walls too thick: but the ceiling,—if he could reach it—there, he doubted not, he could make an outlet. Frequently she would doze in her chair; but the slightest movement on the bed aroused her. It presented itself in the likeness of a great, gray, dull world—a brutal, superstitious, confused, and wrong-headed world, that hurt people and limited people unaccountably. I want to fill it with fine and precious things. They looked out over the city, grim and silent now, for it was long past midnight.
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